5 12月 by admin

国外也有段子手:争四的伦敦街!

国外也有段子手:争四的伦敦街!
小伙伴们咱们好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上星期的欧洲足坛精彩亮点层出不穷。欧冠赛场,皇马、巴萨、拜仁、曼城、曼联、尤文等球队均顺畅晋级,而利物浦、巴黎、热刺、国米等球队则要在最终一轮面对生死战。周末联赛,阿森纳赢下了和热刺的北伦敦德比,利物浦补时读秒走运绝杀,曼联再次收成平局,而曼城、切尔西、巴萨、皇马等球队则纷繁制胜。好了,话不多说,让咱们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!奥巴拉卡进球,阿森纳4-2热刺Banzaimiha(阿森纳球迷):是谁说奥巴梅杨只会在踢弱队的时分进球的?说得太特么对了!(People were saying Aubameyang only scores against small teams. They were right.)WarrenAlaCarte(阿森纳球迷):洛里买了张贵宾球票来看这场球啊!(Lloris paid a premium ticket to watch the game!)Aidsfart_ 112(阿森纳球迷):那些赌麦克-迪恩会判给阿森纳点球的人真是赚翻了,现在得是百万富翁了吧!(Well done to the people who bet on Mike Dean giving Arsenal a pen… must be millionaires now.)Ttblue(阿森纳球迷):有必要的啊,每次麦克迪恩吹阿森纳的竞赛,我都赌他给阿森纳点球,现在我现已是百万富翁了!哦对了,曾经我是亿万富翁…(Yes I bet on him a penalty for us every time and now I’m a millionaire. By the way I was a billionaire before.)Throwberaway(不知道主队球迷):拉卡泽特和奥巴梅杨之间的基情好魔性啊…(The bromance between Laca and Auba…magical.)cwillard260(阿森纳球迷):就连麦克-迪恩都阻止不了他俩了呢!(Even Mike Dean can’t stop him.)longconsilver13(阿森纳球迷):今日阿森纳球迷性高潮般的呼吁,现已被录入到里式地震等级里去了!(Gunners orgasm has just registered on the Richter Scale.)Drewdru(肯尼亚球迷):国际波、火爆抵触、犯规、红牌、焰火、热情、仇视,好一个德比啊!(Bangers, Scuffles, Fouls, Sending off, Flares, Passion, Hatred, What a Derby!)2girls1kun(曼城球迷):仅有的惋惜就是今日麦克-迪恩不怎样在状况…(Pity that Mike was back in form.)vapianonuts24(曼联球迷):我是曼联球迷,我帮朋友问的啊,你们都是怎样进攻的?(United fan here, how do you attack? Asking for a friend.)Benn_Must-die(尤文球迷):不如曼联就聘我当教练吧,我在FIFA13里面都带着曼联赢得欧冠十连冠了呢!(Hire me I got Manchester United to win the champions league 10 years in a row in Fifa 13 mobile.)奥里吉绝杀,利物浦1-0埃弗顿Trombosaurus(利物浦球迷):奥里吉表明,那球肯定是练习场上专门练过的!("Practiced on training ground." – Origi.)Oldyongwaiyee(利物浦球迷):范戴克在传球的一会儿就核算好了风速、球的抛物运动、横梁尺度以及皮克福德手臂长度,所以才有了这粒巨大的进球!那7500万转会费的每一分钱都是值得的!(Van Dijk calculated the wind speed, projectile, thickness of crossbar and the length of Pickford's arm before he pass that ball. What a Goal. 75mil worth every penny.)AzraeJ(巴萨球迷):什么鬼,怎样戈麦斯一到埃弗顿就变成了伊涅斯塔,而在巴萨就只有一成功力了?(WTF Andre Gomes acting like he's Iniesta at Everton but when he was with us he was acting like… I don't know, Andre Gomes…)Pottsaayy(曼城球迷):我看这竞赛都像是菊花被人打结了相同,真不知道埃弗顿球迷会是什么感觉…(Can’t imagine how Everton fans feel if I’ve got knots in my arse watching this.)Mitchypoo69(埃弗顿球迷):足球?爱过。(I'm done with this sport.)graveyeverton93(埃弗顿球迷):很难幻想我是怎样喜爱这支球队25年都还没有自杀的…(How I've gone 25 years supporting Everton without killing myself I'll never know.)收成平局,曼联2-2南安普顿Alfie_13(阿森纳球迷):哈哈,看到竞争对手丢掉2分真是太高兴了,这样南安普顿就不会要挟到咱们争四了!(Lol our rivals dropped 2 points. No way Southampton can get top 4 now.)AjenoMerveilles(不知道主队球迷):穆帅说过曼联要在一月份重回前四,可他没说是在哪年的一月…(To be fair to Jose, he didn't say which January Man Utd would be in the top four…)Bayyon(曼联球迷):比较于积分榜首,曼联现在间隔积分榜尾的分差显着更小,并且净胜球还特么是个负数…(Manchester United are closer to the bottom than they are to the top, and fucking -1 GD…)JoshPCMR(不知道主队球迷):这竞赛下半场,就连吸血鬼都能给看睡着了…(That second half could have put a vampire to sleep.)jebish7(尤文球迷):这竞赛从进球大战到打盹大战的改变实在是太敏捷了…(The game went from goalfest to snoozefest really soon.)ThreeForElvenKings(曼联球迷):解说员笑话卢卡库一脚触球的吐槽,大概是下半场仅有的亮点了吧…(The commentators laughing at Lukaku's first touch certainly was the highlight of the second half.)Mcneilintheplace(阿森纳球迷):卢卡库大多数榜首脚触球一起也是最终一脚触球…(Lukaku. Most of the time his first touch is his last touch.)梅西皮克进球,巴萨2-1埃因霍温GravyIsALie(巴萨球迷):门将:“开端了吗?”梅西:“现已完毕了!”(Goalie is still waiting for Messi to shoot, doesn't realize the ball is already in the net.)Itrytogetthingsdone(荷兰球迷):看到榜首个进球我几乎不敢相信自己的眼睛,但一看是梅西进的,那就感觉不过是正常操作罢了了。(I am surprised to see that that first goal l but unsurprised that Messi was able to score.)Futchfapper(阿贾克斯球迷):梅西的欧冠进球,现已和埃因霍温队史欧冠进球数相同多了…(Messi has now scored as many Champions League goals as PSV.)MGS1911(皇马球迷):吹梅西得有个极限好吧,都说他什么球都能进,那怎样就没进过乌龙球?(I don’t think Messi is that good, they say that he can do anything but I’ve never see him scoring an own goal.)maxr0cket(墨西哥球迷):哇哦,埃因霍温的射门大概是对球网过敏吧!(Wow… that PSV ball is allergic to the net.)mikeondrugs(巴萨球迷):现在咱们的零封场次数乃至还比不上伤员人数多了…(At this point we're gonna have way more injuries than clean sheets.)TheBestTortilla(巴萨球迷):明显咱们现已让门柱和横梁替代后卫去防卫啦!(Apparently we’ll have the posts and crossbar do our defense instead of actually defending.)TheBestTortilla(巴萨球迷):当你有梅西和神锋皮克的时分,还需要什么防卫呀!(Who needs defense when you have Messi and striker Piqué?.)brum592(阿贾克斯球迷):球队在最终时刻拖延时刻很常见,可强如巴萨也有必要踢个埃因霍温都拖延时刻吗…(Sure everyone wastes time in situations like this, but it's kinda meh to see a club like Barca need to do this against PSV…)Edihcex(皇马球迷):这有啥不可的,强如巴萨也难确保场场大胜啊,又不是每周都能踢皇马!(Anything goes wrong? Even barca can hardly smash all the team they meet since they cannot play against Real Madrid every week.)Muppetx(不知道主队球迷):埃因霍温分明每场欧冠都踢得很好,成果现在才得了一分…(PSV have played well in every game yet are still left with 1 point.)TomV23(埃因霍温球迷):正是由于梅西,咱们的欧冠才没戏啊!(Our CL so far is messing because of Messi.)贝尔巴斯克斯进球,皇马2-0罗马TheStryfe(皇马球迷):咱们又要一不小心就得欧冠冠军了么…(We're going to accidently win the champions league again.)good_fellla(皇马球迷):贝尔和巴斯克斯几乎都成西甲最差球员了,来到欧冠却又双双进球…(Bale and Vazquez are trying so hard to win worst player in the league but they both scored in CL…)misplaced_references(不知道主队球迷):C罗是受伤了吗,怎样今日没进场啊?(Is Ronaldo injured or something? Why can’t I see him?)Tweazz(皇马球迷):传闻C罗出去买披萨了,成果留在那里再也没回来…(Dude said he was going out for some pizza and never came back smh.)出线要害战,热刺1-0国米In_Panopticon(利物浦球迷):是不是由于下赛季要用VAR了,所以底线裁判就张狂刷存在感来证明自己的价值了…(the line judge was like they have var next season i need to prove my worth.)Sjekky(凯尔特人球迷):热刺欧冠局面踢成这样,要是最终还能出线,这也太酸爽了吧…(Fair fucks to Tottenham if they make it out this group after the start they had.)Princessfinn(曼联球迷):现在利物浦是要成为仅有一个从欧冠掉下去的英超球队啦?(If liverpool the only english team dropping into the el.)赢得出线主动权,巴黎2-1利物浦batigoal(利物浦球迷):现在我看欧联杯也挺眉目如画的…(Europa league looks stacked now.)FoodCourtDruid(巴列卡诺球迷):利物浦后卫:“咦,球来到咱禁区啦?好风趣哦,咱们快来看看呀!”(Liverpool defenders: "Hmm, a ball in the box? This is interesting. Let's take a look at it.")im_nice_to_everyon(美因茨球迷):不管表面仍是踢法,拉比奥特都可以说是低配版的费莱尼…(Rabiot looks like a discount Fellaini both in size and play style.)tweazz(皇马球迷):米尔纳自身就是身经百战的老将了,成果居然比布冯小了8岁之多…(milner himself is a veteran but when you realize that he is still 8 years younger than buffon.)ATouchOfIwobi(阿森纳球迷):当巴黎进攻的时分,利物浦的防卫乃至还没有练习锥管用…(When they attack at pace Liverpool might as well be replaced by cones.)Shawnlowvon(不知道主队球迷):内马尔和姆巴佩总让我想起小剥皮和雪诺,我是不是没救了… (Neymar and Mbappe remind me of Ramsay and Jon Snow… I’m weird…)OrangeSyringe(曼城球迷):利物浦莫非没有中场么?(Does Liverpool have a midfield?)Wade0(利物浦球迷):啊?中场是啥?(what's that?)费莱尼绝杀,曼联1-0伯尔尼年轻人Pubgoinguponatuesday(阿森纳球迷):费莱尼时刻到啦,现在费莱尼时刻>弗格森时刻!(Fellaini time approaching lads. Fellaini time > Fergie time.’)Kaztah(曼联球迷):中场有个家伙我接连八次都没看出来是谁,直到方才想起来费莱尼把头发给剃了…(It's like the 8th time I wonder who the hell that guy on the midfield is, before I remember Fellainis haircut.)Bigbogger(曼联球迷):德赫亚救主,费莱尼绝杀,这都是根本操作!(De Gea rescue and Fellaini winner, business as usual.)S7Yidead(曼联球迷):本年金球奖不给费莱尼,那就是违法!(It’s a crime if Fellaini can’t be awarded Ballon d’Or)Standupforhufflepuff(北爱尔兰球迷):这是曼联本赛季榜首个欧冠主场进球,整个欧冠里就没有比他们进得更晚的了…(This was United's first home goal in the CL this season, they were the last team to score one this year.)nova_uk(富勒姆球迷):已然这两支队都不知道怎样进攻,那他们是怎样踢进欧冠正赛的…(How are these two teams in the champions league when they both don't know how to attack?)CounterfeitMemes(皇马球迷):曼联真应该把自己的竞赛录像卖给医院去当安眠药!(Manchester United should sell their games to hospitals as general hypnotics.)Renegadecoaster(明尼苏达球迷):一些住在球场周围的人家,应该能在宅院里发现很多这场的足球吧…(Someone in the local neighborhood just got some nice balls in their yard.)顺畅出线,曼城2-2里昂elburrito1(博洛尼亚球迷):大卫-席尔瓦的头发是又长出来了,仍是他头皮晒黑了?(Is david silva growing his hair out again or is he’s head just tanned?)NotoriousTowns(里昂球迷):咱们能一向踢曼城直到这赛季完毕么?(Can we play only Man City until the end of the season?)曼朱进球,尤文1-0瓦伦西亚Sapitobej(克罗地亚球迷):我一向疑惑,为啥C罗要去尤文呢,这样不就一向生活在我大曼朱的暗影之下了吗?(I always wondered why would ronny want to go to juventus, only to be in mandzukic's shade.)Wipes2190(皇马球迷):这么多年了,C罗总算有个能吃饼的队友了…(Ronaldo finally find a striker who can be assisted…)莱万罗贝里进球,拜仁5-1本菲卡Powerbelge(切尔西球迷):“我不怕练了10000种招式的人,但我怕把同一个招式练了10000次的人”——李小龙。(I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 time (c) Bruce Lee.)BigFatNo(荷兰球迷):公元2059年,75岁的罗本内切射门得分,拜仁已和其再度续约。(The year is 2059. Robben, 75, cuts inside and scores for Bayern as he receives another contract extension.)Santatitular(本菲卡球迷):对不住拜仁,其实不是你们状况回升了,而是咱们实在太烂了…(Sorry to Bayern fans but you are not back. We are that bad lol.)Ubergold(不知道主队球迷):哈哈,踢“10年来最弱的拜仁”都能输成1-5,连阿森纳球迷都笑了!(lol , imagine losing 5-1 to the worst Bayern in 10 years. Even Arsenal fans will laugh about this.)FCB_Rich(不知道主队球迷):看到赛后球队的教练还没下课,本菲卡球迷如同更悲伤了…(Benfica fans in shambles after they realize their coach still isn't getting fired.)Playerayton(不知道主队球迷):拜仁高层:“看到了吧,罗贝里还能用呢现在,用不卓引援!”(Bayern board: "See, no transfers needed! Robbery still got it")顺畅制胜,皇马2-0瓦伦西亚C4BackpackerIQ(皇马球迷):良久没看到皇马这样竞赛了啊,魔笛这传球几乎就像小黄片相同爽…(Omg i havent seen real playing like this for a while that first cross was pure sex from modric)KarmaGrinder94(尤文球迷):瓦伦西亚后卫应该让本泽马去拿球的…(valencia should have let the ball reach Benzema.)皮克阿莱尼亚进球,巴萨2-0黄潜Mihaicaus(巴萨球迷):看来咱们的锋线三叉戟就是登贝莱、梅西和皮克了!(Seems like we need a Dembele-Messi-Pique as the front three.)Bgraviton(皇马球迷):咱们把皮克买了吧,或许他才是替代C罗的最佳人选…(Maybe Pique would have been perfect for a Ronaldo replacement for us.)Dark_Legend_(巴萨球迷):阿莱尼亚几乎像爱斯基摩人相同冷漠,这肯定是最接近梅西助攻梅西的进球了…(Alena is as cool as an Eskimos. Closest thing we'll see to Messi assisting Messi.)OneBall22Players(不知道主队球迷):裁判是把红黄牌忘在更衣室了么…(Referee fergot his cards in the locker room.)佩德罗奇克进球,切尔西2-0富勒姆3V3RT0N(埃弗顿球迷):这是我能看到穿蓝色球衣的球队赢下德比的最好机会了…(My biggest chance of seeing a blue team winning a derby today.)Why_dont_Men_Cry(不知道主队球迷):谁给我解说下,为啥阿隆索俄然就不会踢球了?(Can somebody tell me why Alonso forgot how to play football?)斯特林进球,曼城3-1伯恩茅斯Slaintbius(曼联球迷):要是曼城的竞赛都能被说踢得无聊,那我都不知道曼联的竞赛还能用什么修辞手法来描述了…(If City way of play is boring, I have no idea what you guys describe Man United games then.)SlowMobius7(切尔西球迷):能不无聊吗,其他6强都盼着曼城输球,成果他就特么一向赢赢赢!(It's boring to the other top 6 fans because they tune in hoping for an upset and it never happens.)好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为咱们播签到这了,让咱们拭目而待,来看下期歪果仁们愈加精彩的洗礼吐槽吧!